Patagonia Announces Replacement for Potter
In a stunning announcement Patagonia has announced the signing of Jesus Christ to a long term ambassador contract. According to a Patagonia spokesman, "We replaced a guy who thought he was Jesus Christ with the actual Jesus Christ". When questioned as to whether this is indeed the real Jesus Christ, and not his evil twin Jesus H. Christ, the same spokesman said that Chounaird himself conducted the delicate contract negotiations and that Christ's ability as a surfer proved beyond a reasonable doubt that this is indeed the real Christ.
In addition to the stunning effect on right wing evangelicals, the signing of Christ eliminates any potential future issues surrounding the climbing of national landmarks. Who is going to complain when the son of god puts up a new route on Mt. Rushmore or the Washington Monument?
When pressed, Christ admitted he had contemplated a return for quite a long time but had not found the right situation to re-establish his position as the the top dog in the climbing world..... or the rest of the whole dam world for that matter. Christ also says that he gives Patagonia a multi sport ambassador who can reach out beyond the traditional outdoor sponsored athlete.
"No disrespect to my skilled predecessor but could Potter throw a back side disciple or hit a wide out on a Hail Mary?" Other than having to clear up a few details with Dan Brown, Christ says he is in great shape and will be putting up some new routes in the very near future.
Can we at least spell God with a capital "G"?
Posted by: Steve | Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 07:37 AM
Damn, that was funny as hell!
Steve's comment above adds to the effect.
Posted by: The Mick | Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 09:09 AM
Can we at least spell "patagonia" with a lower case "p"?
Posted by: Skeeter McDowell | Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 10:40 AM
I think they got rooked, that's the guy from Burger King with a thorny crown.
Posted by: Brock | Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 01:48 PM
Is Jesus wearing a Seahawks jersey?
Could that be considered divine wagering guidance?
Posted by: Carson | Friday, April 20, 2007 at 02:25 PM
Is that robe Capilene? I always thought JC wore Ibex (he is the lamb right?). In these cases I always like to ask myself W.W.F.S.M.D.?
Posted by: Josh | Friday, April 20, 2007 at 02:32 PM
Can we at least spell dam w/ a lower case "n", as in God Damn? Or spell dog w/ a capital "D".... oh wait, there's not a dog in this story.
Posted by: RDG | Thursday, April 26, 2007 at 04:50 AM
Lends new meaning to the phrase, "...ripped like Jesus.", as in "Yo, the dude was ripped like Jesus."
Will Patagonia be putting out a new line (RLJ) to compete with Nike's ACG?
Posted by: Darm | Thursday, April 26, 2007 at 02:25 PM